Sometimes I’m scared the circus will assume that my roommate’s their laundry pile, scoop her up and take her away with them.
Oh god, this is fucking terrifying. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!
It’s only a matter of time before my roommate starts wearing one of these. We have, like, a week at most.
It scares me that it’s very possible she left the house looking like this.
Only two patterns (do psychotic squiggles count as a pattern?) and about 15 colors? I consider that a win.
She’s been wearing leotards on a daily basis for decades, and shows no signs of stopping.
Happy birthday, anonymous roommate.
Now don’t you wish you owned mesh underwear?
I’ve been wracking my brain for how these outfits come about. Maybe she’s from a future so far advanced that understanding our clothing would be like a modern human understanding goldfish.
Or maybe she’s just lazy and secretly colorblind.
Not by the Direct Method.: I've always loved Tolkien's poetry. →
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
a flaming eye, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the Minas Tirith streets at dawn
looking for a golden ring,
angelhaired horsemen and darkeyed Gondorrim burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry Girdle in in the machin-
ery of Eru,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat
up smoking in the supernatural darkness of
the cold stone flats floating across the tops of the other four Levels
contemplating lute music,
who bared their brains to Valinor under Mindolluin and
saw Maiar staggering on stone roofs illuminated,
who passed through the White Tower of Ecthelion with radiant cool eyes
hallucinating Dol Amroth and Elendil-light tragedy
among the scholars of war,
who were expelled from the Tower for crazy &
publishing obscene odes on the predilections of the
Denethor,
who cowered in naked stone rooms in underwear, burn-
ing their gold in cooking fires and listening
to the Terror through the wall,
who got busted in their loin beards returning through
Harad with a belt of Longbottom leaf for New York,and so on.
I swear she’s trolling me. I mean really—standing in front of that afghan in those leggings? My deepest fear is that one of these days my eyes will burn up in my head and she’ll just laugh and laugh.
To a normal human, winter is a time to wear warm clothes and perhaps even pants. To my roommate, winter is just an excuse to wear more brightly colored hoodies.
